find nothing but faith in nothing [[jake&&beck]]

[Lilian Makenna Perdue]

[style=float: left; background-image: url(http://i48.tinypic.com/9td7gp.jpg); width:250px; height:400px;][style=width:250px; height:35px; background-color: 000000; margin-top: 340px; opacity: .6;][style=font-face:tahoma; color: #A26FC7; letter-spacing:-1px; font-size:10px; text-align: center; line-height: 12px;]JAKE&&BECK[style=color:fafafa]outfit

[/url] THIS WILL BE FUN[/style][/style][/style]

[style=font-family:tahoma; font-size:8px; line-height:10px; letter-spacing:3px; color: #9461B5; text-align:justify;]SO LONG LIVE THE RECKLESS AND THE BRAVE, I DON'T THINK I WANT TO BE SAVED, MY SONG HAS NOT BEEN SUNG -

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[style=font-family:tahoma; font-size:10px; letter-spacing:0px; color: #BE8BEC; text-align:justify]Eighteen seemed so old. Not that it really was, but in America it meant from being a legal child to a legal adult. It really didn’t mean anything else to Lily. She hadn’t exactly done anything for her birthday. Well she had gone to lunch with Beth because Beth was the only one here who knew it was her birthday. Beck knew sure, but she doubted he would be doing anything. He hadn’t really contacted her since the whole Valentine’s Day rose debacle. And she knew that Jake wouldn’t be doing anything because well she didn’t even tell him it was her birthday. And from the way Beth acted it didn’t seem like she had told him. Lily was just expecting a quiet night of cuddling and jellybeans. Nothing special or out of the ordinary, but it wasn’t as if her birthday ever was a big deal anyways.

Lily flopped onto her bed, shimmying under the blankets. Ok it was really Jake’s bed, but she basically lived there so in reality it was their bed. She liked the thought of that. Their bed. She knew she should have told Jake it was her birthday, but it was too late now so why bother. She just figured that whenever he asked she would tell him it already pass and that she was now eighteen. She didn’t see the problem with this. It was probably because not even her parents had ever made a big deal about her birthday. Seventeen years of it being swept under the rug, what was another year?

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[style=font-family:tahoma; font-size:8px; line-height:10px; letter-spacing:3px; color: #9461B5; text-align:justify;]- - - AND LONG LIVE THE FAST TIMES, SO COME WHAT MAY, I DON'T THINK I'LL EVER BE SAVED, LONG LIVE US

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[Jacob Alexander Wayne]

like thunder & lightning caught in a [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: 0b0b0b; width: 399px; padding: 5 5 5 5px; border-bottom: 12px solid #2b4d73; border-top: 12px solid #2b4d73;] war, together we make the perfect storm Jake had had no idea that Lily’s birthday was coming up, at least until Beth had told him that it was. The thought would have occurred to him eventually, but the subject of birthdays had never really come up in anything. And Beth had said that Lily wasn’t really much of a birthday person, which he understood. But that hadn’t stopped him from wanting to do something, even if it wasn’t anything big or anything, which he thought she would probably prefer anyway, considering she hadn’t even told him that her birthday was coming up. And he knew that if she wanted to do something big for it, she would have. So Beth had taken her out for lunch, and he had organised something at his parent’s house afterwards… they were leaving not long after they were meant to be going there but they had wanted to give Lily something after he’d asked if it was alright, so they would do that and then they would have the entire place to themselves. He’d gone there earlier to set up an area for them on one of the rooftop areas, so that they could go inside if it got too cold, probably nothing he couldn’t have done here but it seemed better to get away from the school, even if it was for a couple of hours, if they didn’t end up staying there the night. Getting back to the dorm, he walked in, knowing that she should be back already because Beth had texted him when she had dropped her back off at the school, going straight into the bedroom when he had, figuring that she was probably in there. “Hey,” he said, moving to sit on the bed next to where she was lying, leaning down to kiss her. “A little birdy told me it was your birthday today… so I’ve got something planned for us… nothing to worry about, but it does mean you have to get out of bed and come with me.” mae/jaxx | 336 | outfit | la la la

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template by irish! please do not steal.

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[beckett elliot fisk]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image: url(http://24.media.tumblr.com/4ab70185a714826e1ce3e6357a8a7ef6/tumblr_miuecmgFX31rjf1mso1_500.jpg); width: 480px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 25;] hi Getting Lily back was harder than Beck thought it was going to be. Okay actually he thought he could just go to this place and she would be sitting there; ready to take him back without even thinking. It didn’t even cross his mind that in the time she has been in Easton she might have changed. He thought she would stay the way she was, the way he made her. He didn’t expect her to grow a spine, to become a better person, and to yet again be that girl that Beckett didn’t have two chances in hell with. The whole reason he brought her down to his level was because that was the only way he could have her, now she had gone and undone everything he had done and Beck was left scrambling. There was a small part of him that hoped maybe he could be better for her. Maybe he could, the problem was he had no idea how. How could someone like him even stand a chance at becoming the kind of person that could be with Lily? How could someone whose only talent was selling drugs be up to her standards? Of course she found a rich guy here that was probably not good enough for her, but way better for her than Beckett could ever attempt to be. Maybe if there wasn’t anyone to compete with Beck might stand a chance at getting her back, but how could he get her back with this rich twat in the way? He had to try though. If it was anyone else he probably wouldn’t, but it was Lily so he was going to try. Ever since that chat conversation where she yelled at him about birthdays Beck had been trying to figure out a way to make it up to her. He never celebrated his birthday; he was kind of under the impression that birthday celebrations were a hoax and a scam. However Lily seemed to like them, so the morning of her birthday he tried to figure out what to do. He couldn’t afford a present; he couldn’t even afford a cake. Maybe he could take her out again, not like he used to, but maybe take her out like he did when she was cooped up in the hospital, that seemed to go pretty well. Grant it she didn’t remember anything, but maybe it could still go well. He walked over to Dulcinea and knocked on her door, but she wasn’t there. This led him to assume she was in the asshole Jake’s room. So he walked back there, shoved a Freshman into a wall and asked where Jake Wayne lived, before making it up to the six floor. Once at the door Beck took a deep breath before knocking, hoping Lily was the only one in the room. words: 472 tagged: lily & jake outfit: CLICK

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[Lilian Makenna Perdue]

[style=float: left; background-image: url(http://i48.tinypic.com/9td7gp.jpg); width:250px; height:400px;][style=width:250px; height:35px; background-color: 000000; margin-top: 340px; opacity: .6;][style=font-face:tahoma; color: #A26FC7; letter-spacing:-1px; font-size:10px; text-align: center; line-height: 12px;]JAKE&&BECK[style=color:fafafa]outfit

[/url] THIS WILL BE FUN[/style][/style][/style]

[style=font-family:tahoma; font-size:8px; line-height:10px; letter-spacing:3px; color: #9461B5; text-align:justify;]SO LONG LIVE THE RECKLESS AND THE BRAVE, I DON'T THINK I WANT TO BE SAVED, MY SONG HAS NOT BEEN SUNG -

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[style=font-family:tahoma; font-size:10px; letter-spacing:0px; color: #BE8BEC; text-align:justify]Lily heard Jake come in and instantly smile. He may not know it was her birthday, but at least she was getting to spend it with the two people she loved the most. Beth had taken her out to lunch and now she would spend the rest of the night with Jake doing whatever they always did. She sat up a bit, moving over preemptively to give him room for when he actually came in the room.

Her smile grew wider as he walked through the doorway. ‘Hey,’ she said kissing him back. Yes this would be a good birthday even if he didn’t know it was. Of course though he continued talking and he did know. Of course Beth told him. Because it was Beth and even though she didn’t meddle for the most part she really was the only one aware of Lily’s birthday streak and how her parents probably wouldn’t even call to wish her a happy birthday. ‘Of course Beth told you. But as long as I’m with you my birthday is going to be great.’ She sat up a little before leaning up to kiss him. It was interrupted as she heard a knock on the door. ‘Are you expecting anyone?’ She figured that Jake would get the door because even though she basically lived here the only person who would come to see her was Beth, and she was just with her best friend.

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[style=font-family:tahoma; font-size:8px; line-height:10px; letter-spacing:3px; color: #9461B5; text-align:justify;]- - - AND LONG LIVE THE FAST TIMES, SO COME WHAT MAY, I DON'T THINK I'LL EVER BE SAVED, LONG LIVE US

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[Jacob Alexander Wayne]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: 101010; border: #262626 solid 10px; width: 515px; padding: 5 5 5 5px;] She didn’t seem too surprised that he knew, or that Beth had told him. Then again, she might have already guessed that Beth might say something about it, since she hadn’t told him herself and Beth was her best friend, after all. Nor did she seem annoyed by the fact that he had organised something for it, the last thing he would have wanted was to put his foot in it and upset her if she really didn’t want anything done about her birthday. Hence why he hadn’t planned something really big, just in case she really didn’t want that, although at least this year would be a better gauge for what he should do for her next birthday. “Good,” he answered, smiling as she leaned up and kissed him, kissing her back and wrapping an arm around her waist, pulling her a little closer, having to remind himself that they had somewhere to go so he couldn’t let himself get too distracted before then. Not that they would have gotten far anyway, hearing a knock on the door of his dormitory room a few brief moments later. He pulled away, glancing in the direction of it, shaking his head a little when she asked him if he was expecting anyone. “No, I’m not…” he answered, letting go of her and standing up. Unexpected visitors weren’t something that happened an awful lot lately, and usually if they were it meant something had happened. Well, Hayden would come over but he had a key and would let himself in anyway. Or he would at least text him beforehand, like most people would. “Hopefully whoever it is isn’t planning on staying long,” he said to her, before heading out of the bedroom of his room and towards the door, opening it once he reached it, a look of distaste crossing his face as soon as he realised who was standing on the other side. “What are you doing here?” - - - - - - - - - - 'cause i won't let you burn out tonight, let's just stay here, don't breathe, ignite, and you be the reason, i'll be the rhyme, we've both got way too much ahead to worry bout what we've left behind, so you keep the beat, we'll stay on time, and fill the pages with just how both our worlds collide, when i'm left in your eyes

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mae/jaxx | 327 | outfit | ohdear

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[beckett elliot fisk]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image: url(http://24.media.tumblr.com/4ab70185a714826e1ce3e6357a8a7ef6/tumblr_miuecmgFX31rjf1mso1_500.jpg); width: 480px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 25;] hi Beckett was pretty sure birthday celebrations were some made up Hallmark bullshit until Lily came along. His parents never once even attempted to throw him a birthday party or get him a birthday cake or even tell him happy birthday. All of his “friends” back at home didn’t eve know when his birthday was or if they did they didn’t care enough or were too afraid to bring it up. On his birthday when he was with Lily she had tried to get him a cake and do something for him but he didn’t believe her, he thought she as fucking around with him, which pissed him off to no end. Now though he was starting to realize that birthday celebrations weren’t a bunch of bullshit or at least that birthday parties were for rich kids. Seeing as they were in a rich school and Lily technically was a rich kid she at least deserved something for a birthday. Maybe if he could do something for her birthday she would at least realize he was trying to be more than what he was back in York. He was pretty sure that he would never be much better than he is now, but if Lily thought he was at least trying then maybe she would give him a chance. He didn’t think twice about going to Wayne’s room, maybe he should have. Maybe he should have realized that he would want to do something for Lily’s birthday, but the idea didn’t cross his mind. To Beck Lily was still his and no other guy should want to do shit for her on her birthday. So when he knocked on the door he scowled when Wayne opened the door and his guard instantly went up. Beck scowled deeper and glared at Wayne when he asked what Beckett was doing there. Beckett knew it sounded stupid, he couldn’t even quite believe the reason he was at the door himself. He thought it was stupid, but he was doing it for Lily, but of course Wayne would be there. Of course he was. Fuck off Wayne Beck said pushing past him to get into the room so he could see Lily. Hey Lils lets go he said to her, completely ignoring Wayne and the fact that he was probably disrupting something. words: 387 tagged: lily & jake outfit: CLICK

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[Lilian Makenna Perdue]

[style=float: left; background-image: url(http://i48.tinypic.com/9td7gp.jpg); width:250px; height:400px;][style=width:250px; height:35px; background-color: 000000; margin-top: 340px; opacity: .6;][style=font-face:tahoma; color: #A26FC7; letter-spacing:-1px; font-size:10px; text-align: center; line-height: 12px;]JAKE&&BECK[style=color:fafafa]outfit

[/url] THIS WILL BE FUN[/style][/style][/style]

[style=font-family:tahoma; font-size:8px; line-height:10px; letter-spacing:3px; color: #9461B5; text-align:justify;]SO LONG LIVE THE RECKLESS AND THE BRAVE, I DON'T THINK I WANT TO BE SAVED, MY SONG HAS NOT BEEN SUNG -

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[style=font-family:tahoma; font-size:10px; letter-spacing:0px; color: #BE8BEC; text-align:justify]Lily stayed on the bed, curled up letting Jake answer the door. It was officially his room anyways. She let her head fall back on the pillow, curling up a bit more, knowing that if she closed her eyes she could easily fall asleep, even if she knew that Jake had something planned. She could feel her eyes starting to shut, but all of that was shot when she heard the tone in Jake’s voice as he opened the door. She didn’t know who was on the other side, but she really didn’t like the way Jake sounded.

And then she heard it. Beckett. Beckett of course knew when her birthday was. He had been the source of how she forgot it was her birthday for a few years. And now here he was trying to take her out. She just wanted to disappear. If she just wished hard enough then maybe it would happen. She hated acting like this. She hated to have Jake see her like this, but she was so weak when it came to Beckett, no matter how hard she tried to fight it. She just desperately hoped that Jake could get rid of him.

When he pushed his way through and appeared in the doorway, Lily wrapped her arms tight around herself. Could she not just have one good birthday? Just one. Was that really too hard to ask? Apparently it was because there really wasn’t a birthday that she could ever remember that was good and she was guessing that this one might go in the top five of the worst. ‘Beckett I’m not going anywhere,’ she said, digging her nails into her arms trying to give herself strength. ‘You need to leave now Beck.’ She wished she didn’t sound so weak. She wished that she sounded more commanding than pleading in her words, but she didn’t. All she could hope was that in some weird twist of fate Beck left and she could for once have a normal birthday with Jake.

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[style=font-family:tahoma; font-size:8px; line-height:10px; letter-spacing:3px; color: #9461B5; text-align:justify;]- - - AND LONG LIVE THE FAST TIMES, SO COME WHAT MAY, I DON'T THINK I'LL EVER BE SAVED, LONG LIVE US

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[Jacob Alexander Wayne]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: 101010; border: #262626 solid 10px; width: 515px; padding: 5 5 5 5px;] Jake wanted nothing more than to just shut the door in the guy’s face again, but somehow he doubted that would make the other male leave, or he would probably just stop it before it had managed to close and let himself in anyway. What he was doing here was beyond him, apparently Beckett couldn’t take a hint when it was shoved in his face. He would have had him kicked out of the school already if Lily hadn’t made him promise to just leave it alone, something that he still couldn’t understand why she’d wanted him to, not after everything she had told him about her ex. He tensed as Beckett told him to fuck off, wishing he had just shut the door in his face like his original instinct had been to when he pushed his way past him, turning to follow him further into the room again, not bothering to shut the door again behind them both, leaving it swinging it open, since they would be leaving soon… all of them would be, even if it took a bit of convincing to get him to leave. He tensed further as he approached Lily, watching carefully, just in case something went wrong. “See? She doesn’t want to go anywhere with you, so she’s not going to,” he said, after Lily had answered, crossing his arms as he looked at the other male, expression still hardly pleased. It seemed like every time they tried to do something normal, something good, something just had to go wrong. Not that it was anyone’s fault that Ster and Helena’s accident had happened while they were away for Valentine’s Day, well it had been the killer’s doing, but it just seemed like they were stuck in a rut of bad luck and it didn’t look like it was going away any time soon. “So you can just leave.” - - - - - - - - - - 'cause i won't let you burn out tonight, let's just stay here, don't breathe, ignite, and you be the reason, i'll be the rhyme, we've both got way too much ahead to worry bout what we've left behind, so you keep the beat, we'll stay on time, and fill the pages with just how both our worlds collide, when i'm left in your eyes

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mae/jaxx | 315 | outfit | ohdear

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[beckett elliot fisk]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image: url(http://24.media.tumblr.com/4ab70185a714826e1ce3e6357a8a7ef6/tumblr_miuecmgFX31rjf1mso1_500.jpg); width: 480px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 25;] hi All Beckett wanted to do was show Lily that he was trying to change. He remembered her birthday; he could take her out and show her a good time. Even though Beckett wasn’t exactly sure how to show her a good time because his idea of a good time was drinking and drugs. The problem was that he couldn’t drink or do drugs anymore or else he’d get sent to jail therefore being closer to his father. Surely he could think of something fun to do that wouldn’t violate the terms in which he was here. The problem was he just didn’t factor in all the new variables in Lily’s life, he kept forgetting she wasn’t the same girl from back in York. The even bigger problem at the moment though was that she wasn’t giving him the chance to show that he was trying. She kept saying that she didn’t want to go and then fucking Wayne chimes in and then tells him to leave. How the hell was he supposed to show her that he was trying when she shot him down when he was! What was he supposed to do? This was so god damn frustrating. Gritting his teeth Beckett glared at Wayne. If this guy weren’t here then Lily would definitely go with him, Beckett was sure of it. Clenching his hands to his side Beckett resisted the urge to permanently get Wayne out of the picture. Instead he grabbed Lily by the arm and jerked her forward. I said come on so lets go already Beckett growled at her. Why wasn’t she letting him prove himself? Its like she wanted him to react like this. Like she didn’t want him to be better… No, no she wouldn’t… Glaring at Wayne again, Beckett pulled Lily forward again and said Fine I’ll leave now. words: 307 tagged: lily & jake outfit: CLICK

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[Lilian Makenna Perdue]

[style=float: left; background-image: url(http://i48.tinypic.com/9td7gp.jpg); width:250px; height:400px;][style=width:250px; height:35px; background-color: 000000; margin-top: 340px; opacity: .6;][style=font-face:tahoma; color: #A26FC7; letter-spacing:-1px; font-size:10px; text-align: center; line-height: 12px;]JAKE&&BECK[style=color:fafafa]outfit

[/url] THIS WILL BE FUN[/style][/style][/style]

[style=font-family:tahoma; font-size:8px; line-height:10px; letter-spacing:3px; color: #9461B5; text-align:justify;]SO LONG LIVE THE RECKLESS AND THE BRAVE, I DON'T THINK I WANT TO BE SAVED, MY SONG HAS NOT BEEN SUNG -

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[style=font-family:tahoma; font-size:10px; letter-spacing:0px; color: #BE8BEC; text-align:justify]As Beck pulled on Lily’s arm and she was basically dragged from where she had been a flood of flashbacks hit her. Back in York when Beck would ever get mad at her and toss her around like a rag doll. She could only imagine the terror that flooded her face at that moment as she flinched, waiting for impact. But it didn’t come. Just another yank. She didn’t know what Beck was trying to get at, but whatever it was she didn’t like it. She just wanted to be with Jake. Just wanted to go and do whatever he had had planned and be normal for once. Couldn’t they have one happy moment? Didn’t they deserve that?

‘Beckett let go,’ she said wriggling to get free. She looked at Jake, a little helpless but wanting anything but a fight to happen. She knew that Beck wouldn’t play fair and the last thing she wanted to do was spend her birthday in the hospital. She kept wiggling trying to get her arm loose from his tight grasp. If she could just get free and close to Jake everything would be ok. If she was in Jake’s arms she would be fine. He would protect her and Beck wouldn’t try to hurt her then. Well at least she could tell herself that. ‘Beckett please just let me go and leave.’

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[style=font-family:tahoma; font-size:8px; line-height:10px; letter-spacing:3px; color: #9461B5; text-align:justify;]- - - AND LONG LIVE THE FAST TIMES, SO COME WHAT MAY, I DON'T THINK I'LL EVER BE SAVED, LONG LIVE US

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[Jacob Alexander Wayne]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: 101010; border-top: #262626 solid 10px; border-bottom: #262626 solid 10px; width: 510px; padding: 10 5 5 5px;] i had the way i loved you from just under my breath was a constant reminder that what beat in my chest wasn't mine anymore i guess, you swore the sun you'd never do this again, let down your guard and leave here more than a friend there was a fire there could be one again because i won't let you burn out tonight He returned Beckett’s glare with a flat stare of his own. He wasn’t going to budge on this, no matter how many times the guy have him the evil eye, and no matter what he said. This wasn’t even him just being naturally stubborn… if anything she had told him about Beckett and their past together had been good then he wouldn’t have been objecting so much to this, even if they guy had still been trying to win her back, because at least then he would know that she wasn’t in any danger, and he would find it fair enough if she wanted to try it again with him, as much as he loved her. But it wasn’t either of those things, it was the exact opposite, and he wasn’t going to let her go back to that. His expression darkened when the other male grabbed her by the arm – now, that wasn’t exactly the right move to make to make him dislike him any less, it had the exact opposite effect – every muscle in his body tensing at the gesture, automatically stepping forward, all thoughts of what Lily had said about ignoring Beckett flooding his mind. All bets were off in his opinion, they had been as soon as he had touched her, his mood growing even more sour as he kept trying to drag her from the room. He stepped over to Lily, positioning his arm in front of her, between her and Beckett, a protective gesture, there was no way in hell he was letting him take her from the room, drawing himself up to his full height, glaring at him. “Get your hands off her, take no for an answer and get out of my room,” he told him, again, feeling like he had already repeated himself a million times already, even if it had only been a couple of times, voice low and cold as he spoke. and you be the reason, i'll be the rhyme you needed something you could hold with your hands, something rebellious that you don't understand, something that you were sure we'd never remand, won't you please clue me in on the plan, because i won't let you burn out tonight, let's just stay here, don't breathe, ignite

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mae/jaxx | 323 | outfit | real thing - boys like girls | *rolls*

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[beckett elliot fisk]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image: url(http://24.media.tumblr.com/4ab70185a714826e1ce3e6357a8a7ef6/tumblr_miuecmgFX31rjf1mso1_500.jpg); width: 480px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 25;] hi This was beyond frustrating. All Beckett wanted to do was show Lily he was trying to change. How was he supposed to show her that if she refused to be shown? There were flaws in his logic that if he could just forcefully make her see that he has changed then she would see it. However Beckett never claimed he had sound logic, that he was the smartest, or the most levelheaded. This seemed like a good plan to him and when everything was going wrong he got upset, but Beck didn’t deal with upset well, which made him frustrated, which then made him angry. He was angry and frustrated so he pulled Lily along, ignoring her protests because once she realized he was trying to do something good she would have to calm down, right? Of course Wayne had to get in the way. If Wayne wasn’t there then Beckett would have easily been able to take Lily out, show her that he was making an effort, and then everything could go back to the way it was back in York. Okay, maybe not exactly the way they were in York. Since he was trying to be better and legally he couldn’t do drugs or drink without getting sent to jail, Sander wouldn’t have his vices to cope. Things would be different, but for the better… right? There was that doubt, that nagging doubt that clung onto anything with the potential to be good in Beckett’s life that nothing good could happen to him. How could something good happen to him? He didn’t deserve it, he didn’t deserve anything nice… All that frustration with himself and at this situation peaked with Wayne putting his arm between him and Lily. An almost animalistic snarl ripped out of him when Beckett grabbed Wayne’s arm and moved to pin the other boy against the wall, forearm against the other boy’s throat. Get out of my fucking way Wayne Beckett growled at the boy, clearly very, very angry. words: 335 tagged: lily & jake outfit: CLICK

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