in the hopes of a few minutes more (open)

[helena marie adelstein]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #cccccc solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] fading images, fading moments, only memories remain The Words: what? The Outfit: HERE! The Notes wooo! Helena had just walked out of the training center with Balto; she had to admit that the little fellow was getting better every day. It was nice to see that he doesn't mind doing all that training and part of her had started to think it's because he gets to be out instead of being locked inside a room all the time. She glanced over at the puppy while she got inside the car, watching how happy and excited he looked just by being outside, the top of the car had been rolled down so he was free to see all around. It was than that she decided it wouldn't hurt them to just head someplace else and have some fun. Maybe head over to the park and play catch for a few minutes.. or rather fetch. She smiled a little, driving away, glad to have decided to do this because in all honesty she also needs to clear her head a little. The last couple of days had been rather, confusing on some level to her mind and her emotions so it was best to just clear her mind, have a good time with someone who wouldn't question her every move and just be happy. "Yeah, today will surely be fun Balto, you get to go to the park" with one hand she reached over and ruffled his hair, gosh how she loves that he really is like a big cloud. It was just even more adorable than usual. Driving seemed to help, it allowed her to focus on the road and not have to think about anything else. No school, family, friends, dancing, her vision, boys. Nothing; it was simply her and the read ahead of her, freedom if you will. It was a little bit tempting to just keep on driving even if she ends up going in circles, but no, she stopped herself from doing that because she doesn't exactly have enough money to keep on paying for gas so she can drive around as much as she pleases. It would have been nice though, she is able to admit that to herself, it would be nice to just be able to afford that small, tiny little wimp. It wasn't going to happen though, not now not ever. Oh well, she has never been one to get sad due to broken dreams, she has plenty of those and all she has to do is stack them away in a little box and never open it again. There are other dreams to be discovered and they might even be better. The one that will truly hurt is losing dancing if her eyes give out. That one will be hard to overcome, but she could manage, she has always been able to manage. Why should this be any different? Once she made it to the field, because, well, at this place she had more open space to throw the ball around and just have fun with it. The dog seemed so happy that it warmed her heart and made her just start running around the place with the pup following her around. She couldn't really feel better, it was nice to be out, it was nice to feel the nice breeze and let her hair get all messed up due to it. "Oh I am going to miss this" she said with a sort of sad chuckle while she turn to look at Balto, showing him the ball before throwing it away, watching him quickly rush off to chase it to later bring it back. "Gosh you are fast!" she grabbed the ball and threw it away once more. Helena smiled and just looked around, running a hand across her hair before sighing. The light was a tad too bright, and she could see that some of the peripheral vision was a bit obscure. Dang it. She wondered for how long it was going to stay, for how long she will be able to see. It was scary to think about the fact that sometime in the future, near future at that, she won't be able to see any of this, it would just be an image in her head. A small sigh escaped her lips and she shrugged, the waiting is more scary that the actual thing to be honest, but maybe that is just how it feels right now. After hearing a bark she looked down to find Balto there, impatiently waiting for her to throw the ball once more. She chuckled and grabbed it before throwing it away, further away than before. A smile back on her lips, least she can do is hope it will take longer than what the doctor said. created by ADE! Pb-ified by WILL

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[kaiser lucas frei]

If you fall pick yourself up off the floor

just remember what you're here for

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style,background-image: url('http://i53.tinypic.com/wb98wn.jpg');,true] HERE COMES A FIGHTER ! Kaiser tumbled backwards, coughing as he tried to call the wind back to his lungs. His back hit the wall and he slammed his right hand against it to keep him from falling to his arse. He stared dumbly at his father who had not yet unclenched his fist and seen the error of his ways. No, apparently he was adamant that this was okay. The umbrage shone brightly in his father's grey eyes and Kaiser began to breath heavily, ignoring the blood trickling from his jaw. His father scrunched his nose at him, pointing the nose of his bottle at him and gurgling some incoherent acrimony at the boy. It was probably meant to be a curse or insult, but his dad was way past making real words. Kai shook his head at the man with the jutting beer-belly, his nostrils flaring in his rage. He grabbed the stumbling man by the collar of his shirt, his face inches away from his own, rearing his fist. But, no. No. He would not drop to his level. Instead, he yanked the bottle from his father's callused hands and threw the bottle at the wall, watching the green-tinted glass explode. "Fuck you." He shoved the older man away from him and quickly ran for the basement, quickly clipping leashes around Luka and Mika's necks and busting out the door. Out of the house, he ran. He didn't care about the coldness the nipped at his ears and his nose. He ran until he came upon the park's field, the German Shepherd puppies stopping at his heels and panting. For the first time, he had tired them out. It distracted him enough to smile a bit before the pain from his split lip spiked and he recalled he was bleeding. It was too sore to touch, though, so he left it. He sat down, the leashes wrapped in his right hand, and coughed from his head-cold and lack of air. He took a moment to look around; there weren't many people out. Maybe because it wasn't the 80 degree weather everyone was craving. Narrowing his eyes, he did however notice a girl and a white dog playing a good couple of yards away. The white dog triggered something in the back of his head. Balto...? #### WORDS , helena , OUTFIT , soz for the beginning love

table by california dreaming @ caution 2.0

[helena marie adelstein]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #cccccc solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] fading images, fading moments, only memories remain The Words: what? The Outfit: HERE! The Notes wooo! Helena had been trying not to think much on what her future was going to be like. It was scary, of course it was. She has to admire those who can live without being able to see, for example she admired Vonny to a new level now. She was terrified, scared out of her mind; the few days she had been in the darkness at the hospital after the car accident -if one could even refer tot hat as an accident- had been the most horrible days of her life; and at that time she still had Hayden; she had Sterling in the same room as well. Now, now it was her and...just her. Was her mind really prepared for all of that? She highly doubts that it is, but there is no real point on letting herself think it wasn't going to happen; all she can do is calm down, relax and try to see the good side of all of this. Maybe that side wasn't entirely clear at the time being but some day, somehow, she will look back to this and think "How did I not see it back then?" and that is when she will smile and feel a hundred times better with herself, with her life. Noticing that her dog was still away she looked up, focusing on the now rather that what she will think about in the future. Her head tilted and she noticed he wasn't back yet, he was just sniffing around the place. She wondered what he was sniffing, and what could be so interesting that he decided to stop hunting down his target and instead focus on that. "Balto! come here boy! Balto!" Helena called out for him, granted he lifted his head, turned to look at her as she had expected but he ended up baking and just running away, occasionally stopping and turning around as if expecting her to come and run along with him. "Suddenly, cashing a ball is not enough?" she chuckled, her voice low before she began to chase him. "Come here!" she had left her things behind, but does she really care? Nope, at this moment all the cares in the world had managed to slip out the window; metaphorically speaking of course. When she noticed he had started to head over to a couple of dogs and it's owner she ran a bit more. "Balto stop bothering that person!" she took a better look though, smiling when she noticed who it was. This world is way too small; first she meets him at the chat, then finds out he lived at LA, then that he knows her grandparent's shop and now at the park? Talk about small, and perhaps destiny? They might be destined to be friends. Good friends. Gosh that would be nice. "Hey! Hi! what are you doing here?" she asked in her happy manner, slowly down her quick pace once she was close enough, stealing a quick glance over at the trio of dogs to make sure they were all getting along instead of fighting. She still had a couple of steps to go before reaching them, but she was just happy and pleased with this moment. She had been alone, not that that had been the plan, but she had, and company just sounds good now; if he is not busy that is created by ADE! Pb-ified by WILL

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[kaiser lucas frei]

If you fall pick yourself up off the floor

just remember what you're here for

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style,background-image: url('http://i53.tinypic.com/wb98wn.jpg');,true] HERE COMES A FIGHTER ! The tan boy's eyebrows arched as the white dog seemed to notice that he and his owner's privacy was no longer. After getting into a heated "argument", if you could call it that, he wasn't sure if he really wanted the company of anything but his dogs. He was afraid that his anger was still lingering because, well, of course it was. His father had just socked him in the jaw and opened his lip. He just didn't want to blow up on someone by accident. Helena was so nice that it had to be impossible for her to trigger any hostility, though. So if he was going to talk to anyone, it might as well be her. He released his death grip on the leashes and watched as Luka and Mika bounced around the bigger dog, sniffing butts and barking playfully. He was assured now that they had something to amuse them, they wouldn't run off. The boy braced himself as Helena approached, pretending to dust grass or dirt off of his knees as to avoid eye contact. One of the reasons he didn't like people too much was because he wasn't all too good with them. Dogs were easy. If they were good, you could smother them with love and talk in that stupid voice everyone had but was wary to admit. If they were bad, you let them know, and they got it and tried not to do it again. Humans were different; more complex. As she greeted him, Kaiser, in all his European courtesy, was forced to lift his dark brown eyes to hers and pull the side of his mouth that wouldn't hurt into a half-smile, smirk-looking thing. "Yeah, hi," he said monotonously in his rich, deep accent. The boy let out another sigh, sniffling from his cold and letting his eyes slip back towards his dogs and Balto. "Came out for a walk. Before it got too dark, y'know. Fresh air." He tried to be casual, shrugging and all, despite the anger that was still bubbling in the pit of his stomach. His hand twitched into a fist but he relaxed it quickly, shaking his head. "What about you?" he inquired, though from the looks of it, it looked like a simple visit to the park to play fetch with a dog. But then again, who knew? He looked like a stupid little boy who'd come to the park with his own two dogs to just screw around, too. Instinctively, his tongue poked out to get the blood away from the cut on his mouth, but the contact caused him to wince. #### WORDS , helena , OUTFIT , soz for the beginning love

table by california dreaming @ caution 2.0

[helena marie adelstein]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #cccccc solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] fading images, fading moments, only memories remain The Words: what? The Outfit: HERE! The Notes muse, muse! Seeing that the three happy dogs weren't going to end up in an unwanted fight, or that they weren't going to just run off to the other side of the park, she felt like she could relax and maybe enjoy sometime with a friend. Helena, unlike some people, is very quick to accept someone in her group of friends. In fact she is certain maybe some of the people she would call friend are actually only acquaintances in the other person's mind but to her it was different and she would gladly stop the world and be with them if they ever come to need it. It is merely how her mind works, and she is very happy that it works that way to be honest. She however, didn't have much time to enjoy the happiness of the dogs; because she should focus on the person who had taken the pair of German shepherds to this park. Her eyes locked on him now, waiting for some sort of response. Finally he looked up, she wondered if maybe she had managed to interrupt some deep thought or alone time. Dear Lord Helena, you need to think about those things before walking up to someone like it was alright to do so she thought, but she prayed and hoped that it wasn't the case. She could surely use some company, yet one single world from him towards the lines of wanting to be left alone and Helena will be walking away in an instant. The last thing she wants in life is to make people feel uncomfortable. She was usually good at telling when someone is that way, and usually she is also good at letting people alone when they truly want too, other times though, she is too interested in what's going on to leave the scene. So stays and asks questions and so people will classify her as nosy. That sounded like a normal reason, a good reason at that but body language said otherwise. Ever since she found out about Lyss cutting herself, she had grown more interested in people's body language, maybe the clue to what really lies inside someone's mind is on the way they move. So while she got closer and sat down on the grass she smiled a little at him, hearing him ask the same question to her. "Same, I think Balto really needed a day out of just pure fun" as if to agree she heard the dog bark and smiled, yet it soon faded when she took a better look at Kaiser, worry soon reaching her as she saw the blood on his lip; it was pretty recent, if it pained that much, if it looked that way. "Oh gosh, your lip... are you alright? what happened?" Concern written all over her face. There it was again, that 'nosy' factor that she would rather name 'curiosity' or 'concern for those she cares for'. created by ADE! Pb-ified by WILL

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[kaiser lucas frei]

If you fall pick yourself up off the floor

just remember what you're here for

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style,background-image: url('http://i53.tinypic.com/wb98wn.jpg');,true] HERE COMES A FIGHTER ! Kaiser rubbed an eye with his hand when she brought up the question. He started to get angry again. His stupid goddamn father and his stupid goddamn drinking problem. His stupid goddamn existence, actually, by this point. He was a proper bastard and well past the point of no return. There was no way to save him. All he was left to do was survive on what was it, some veteran welfare? Regardless, his only thing left to do was Earth was corrupt his two remaining little boys. Kat had done the smart thing and moved out as soon as possible. For a moment, he wondered how she was. "A bar fight," he said, kind of without his own acknowledgment. The words just spilled from his mouth like a leak, and he turned his face away from Helena. It wasn't even six o'clock, what would he have been doing in a bar? Hopefully she wouldn't think too much about it. Mika came bounding back over to him, shoving her head under his hand and staring up at him with big brown eyes. The boy shivered with another cough and began to scratch the German Shepherd behind her ears. "Good girl," he murmured, huffing as she decided she was going to maul his face in kisses. "Heh, stop it," he laughed quietly, ceasing immediately as pain shot through him again. He looked back at Helena, feeling awkward as he sat there in his bleeding-jaw glory. He hadn't had time to inspect if it was just his lip that was bleeding; his father had socked his jaw pretty hard. Kaiser inhaled the best he could through his nose, running his hand through his hair and exhaling. "So. Balto's cute," he mumbled, trying to change the topic. Helena had somewhat proved that she was trustworthy, but he wasn't going to open up to her in just less than two days. He was surprised by her, though. He could give her that. Usually Kai hated those overly-happy people with a bounce in their step and a twinkle in their eyes. Hated them. Wished them dead. And Helena was the bounce-in-her-step kind of girl, but she was also just what Kai had needed last night. A picker-upper. She was like a drug. Yeah, that was acceptable. She could be one of those happy-pills. She was a drug. A friendly drug. #### WORDS , helena , OUTFIT , soz for the beginning love

table by california dreaming @ caution 2.0

[helena marie adelstein]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #cccccc solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] fading images, fading moments, only memories remain The Words: what? The Outfit: HERE! The Notes muse, muse! There was no possible way for Helena not to mention the blood that was currently on the boy's lip. It was open, and she was going to worry about him. It obviously was hurting since the wince he had let out before was enough to make that an obvious thing. Oh gosh if only she had something to wipe away the blood. She thought about it but the leggings have no pockets and she doesn't have a big purse where she tends to actually keep some tissues. Actually where is her little purse? Oh right she had left it behind when she began to chase Balto; her eyes quickly went to the spot she had been, hopefully the purse will still be there when she decided to head back for it. Maybe she should really care more about it, but right now her worry was on Kaiser and nothing else. Now that made no sense at all. A bar fight? At this time? No possible. Even if a bar was open she doubts there will be people in there to start a fight with. There was something else though, as she looked at him she could somehow recognize the signs. Her mind began to think back on what he had said about his father the other day, then the look on his face at the moment, then the words that didn't seem to actually go along with the body language. She knew what it was like, gosh she had done that on several occasions when she was speaking to Dani, to Lyss or even Seth, only that she had managed to do that via internet; only Dani had seen it in person. Not even just once at that. The dog snapped her out of her thoughts though, looking at it with a smile on her lips. It seemed like animals really were the best cure for when you aren't feeling all that well. Helena allowed herself to smile at the scene, that was until he winced once more and worry came rushing back to her once more. It was wrong, she knows that and she also knows he hadn't said what really happened. "Yes, Balto is really cute; so are your dogs" she let her hand move to brush over the dogs' fur, scratching it lightly. She wants to ask, she seriously wants to ask him what really happened and while part of her was yelling that she shouldn't do it, she also is very aware that it wasn't going to work out. "Kaiser, what really happened?" she asked, keeping her voice calm, soothing, and hopefully not sounding like she was pressuring him to tell her. Then again, she was worried, "It wasn't a bar fight" she added. Oh gosh, she feels like this will be the point of 'make it or break it' because it seems very personal, and if she stepped over a line then he might not want to speak to her again. The idea made her sad, she doesn't want to lose a friend, she has already lost to many to ad another to the growing list. created by ADE! Pb-ified by WILL

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[kaiser lucas frei]

If you fall pick yourself up off the floor

just remember what you're here for

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style,background-image: url('http://i53.tinypic.com/wb98wn.jpg');,true] HERE COMES A FIGHTER ! Kaiser gingerly tugged his lips into the slightest of smiles, as to not hurt his lip. "Thanks," he said, watching as Luka trotted over to the girl and put his forepaws on her leg. "Down, Luka," the boy scolded, not wanting the mostly-black puppy to leave dirty paw prints on Helena's pants. The German Shepherd puppy seemed to thoroughly enjoy the affection that the girl was giving him. Kai looked up at Helena's eyes when she asked for the truth. Was his lie that transparent? He'd been perfecting his abilities for years to get out of trouble with the authority or his father. Kai almost thought of himself as a professional by this point. The truth... he hadn't really gone into a full-depth analysis of his relationship with his father for anyone. It wasn't anyone's business. Kaiser furrowed his brow, suddenly holding Mika much closer to his chest. Helena was kind, though. She wouldn't go around, spreading his personal issues, would she? She didn't seem the type. But maybe it was that kind of naivety that got him into so much hot water in the past. Mika, as if sensing her boy's discomfort, wobbled a bit in his arms to lick under his chin and do some puppy-whines. It was hard to be sad around his dogs. They simply wouldn't let him be. He kissed the puppy on her wet little nose and decided to turn his attention back to Helena. What was the worst that could happen if he described his troubles with his father? Who would even change their opinion him if she decided to spill? Besides a handful of people, residents of Virginia didn't know him, or didn't like him already. "...How'd you figure?" he inquired beforehand, curious on how she'd seen right through him. Sagging his shoulders, he cast his gaze elsewhere. "You're right. It wasn't a bar fight. My father..." he paused, hating himself. He didn't want to bitch about his problems. They weren't anyone else's mess. But Helena looked genuinely concerned, which was a nice change for once. "He... uh. Doesn't like me much." He could leave it at that, right? That kind of told most of the story without so many words, didn't it? He hoped so. Talking moved his mouth too much. #### WORDS , helena , OUTFIT , soz it's so short;

table by california dreaming @ caution 2.0

[helena marie adelstein]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #cccccc solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] fading images, fading moments, only memories remain The Words: what? The Outfit: HERE! The Notes muse, muse! There was no need to hide away the fact that he had been lying; she has to wonder though if he was going to brush everything away and just continue with the story of him being in a bar fight. In the past she had continued on with the same lie several times before, either she would say the hand marks on her arms were because of a lift at dance, they were holding on to her too tight to keep her up and it just happened. If her dad had pushed her against the wall then maybe she fell at dance class; no matter what she will always blame it on the dancing, or on the rare occasion she will say it was the surfing; no one ever doubts that simply because she isn't the best surfer out there and while she can stand on he board, it is most likely that she will end up falling at some point. So that was clearly one of the alibies that she tends to use, not here though, because she hasn't gone surfing here in a long time, plus her dad isn't here so no need to lie about that. The first thing he did was hold on to his dog in a tighter way. Pretty much like what she would do when holding the jacket closer to her, closing it so it would hide away everything. Her dad wasn't all that bad, clearly not as bad as some other parents, his part was... well it was more on the psychological side of things. Sure his hands could get a little wondering every now and then but that was merely when she tried to cut his speech short or reason with him to please stop talking. It had gotten worse this past visit though, was it because she looks even more like her mother? Was it because she went to see her grave? Or perhaps it was due to her not returning the locket he asked her to. All of those could be the reason of his increased rage, something she really doesn't want to encounter ever again. There was really not much time for her to tell him how she had managed to figure it all out; mostly because she was more focused on what he has to say next rather than her explaining her side of the story. Her heart ached when he began to speak; how could someone not like him, how could someone actually want to hurt him? That made no sense at all, sure she has met him for a couple of days, and only through the internet but he is so nice. Seeing someone sad just breaks her heart, no matter who the person is, she has even felt bad about her father when she sees him break down in tears after speaking to herm and by speaking she means yelling. "I am so sorry" Without much room for warning him, or for her to actually think about what her body was already doing, she moved forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close to her. Everyone could use a hug right? in any case if he dislikes it he can always just push her away. "I figured because..." she hasn't really told many people about this, is not like she hides it away but the opportunity or reason never shows up; and she wasn't just going to randomly say it in a conversation. "I know the signs, the quick lie of how it happened, holding on to something or someone, the look on your face" she unconsciously held him tighter and perhaps this time around she was doing it more for her own sake than his. "You do it long enough and it can really fool the world" she whispered, this time it was more like thinking out loud than her meaning to say those words. created by ADE! Pb-ified by WILL

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[kaiser lucas frei]

If you fall pick yourself up off the floor

just remember what you're here for

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style,background-image: url('http://i53.tinypic.com/wb98wn.jpg');,true] HERE COMES A FIGHTER ! His dark brown eyes rounded as he felt arms around his neck; arms that weren't trying to cut off his air supply, at least. He stared out into nothingness as she hugged him, pointing out everything that his instinct had done against his brain to tell her that he wasn't okay. This was their first time face-to-face and she was already better at understanding him than even his family. Kaiser could be an ass, a clown, and on a couple of occasions, a sweet heart, but it had been a while since he'd really been okay. If people asked him how he was, or how he was feeling, he was okay. Good. Great, even. He acted as if spliff and booze helped him escape these hollow feelings gnawing at his heart, but they didn't. He wasn't okay and no one could tell. The bruises weren't enough; the tired, glazed eyes weren't enough. But no one saw that he was layered; to them, he was flat and transparent. Like a piece of paper. He was certainly crumpled and thrown away like one. He began to feel his body shake a bit, and he was afraid his emotions were going to get the best of him. Being as tense as he was before she hugged him, he was scared he would hurt her. Touches didn't calm him down when he was mad, they only fueled him. Perhaps it was because no one ever tried to comfort him with their touch before. In the past, when Kaiser's blood was boiling, whatever touched his skin was always trying to hurt him. No one was ever there to hold him back or grab his hand and tell him it was okay. Before he could do anything, tears -- of what he assumed were frustration -- began to seep down his cheeks. He was confused why he was crying, pressing his face gently (as to not hurt his cheek) against Helena's shoulder. "I'm sorry," he managed to say without much of a croak, lifting up his arms finally and slinging them around her. "I'm sorry." By the second time he said it, Kai wasn't sure who he was apologizing to. He was hugging Helena and felt actually kind of awful about wetting her shoulder, but it wasn't really much of a reason to bawl harder. Images of his stupid, whore mother flashed in his head. The days when he was young, back in Europe, when she wasn't cheating on his father and when his father didn't drink. When Kat was still around and paid attention to him like a good older sister. When Milo wasn't such a goddamn twat and still gave two cents about his older siblings. He wasn't sure who had ruined what first. His father becoming more angry, more drunk, while his mother sat and smoked her cigarettes in the kitchen every morning and pressed her ass against men behind the family's back. In the argument that they decided they were going to divorce, Kai's dad had hit his mother for the first time. She didn't say anything to anyone about it, but that had been the turning point. Ex-veteran Frei had liked the feeling of something shriveling up beneath his mighty hand; earning a grunt or a cry out of his victim as palm or knuckles made impact with skin. Kat moved out quickly, and Milo could hide away in the school dorms, which left failure-child Kaiser the target of his father's later drunken rages. His father had tried drugs once and almost stabbed him. It was mortifying. If it weren't for getting his two puppies a little bit in the future, Kaiser wasn't sure where he'd be. Probably scattered into pieces around the traintracks; barely enough left of him for the police to identify. By this point, Kaiser was letting out pretty deep sobs. It had been a while since he'd let himself cry that hard, even more so in the presence of another person. Then, suddenly, he found himself remembering a quote from a book that his mother had read to him a child. "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." He felt completely weird and immature saying it, but that quote had stuck out to him as a kid for a reason. And now he think he understood. Children tend to pick up on foreshadowing at an early age, don't they? #### WORDS , helena , OUTFIT , derp

table by california dreaming @ caution 2.0

[helena marie adelstein]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #cccccc solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] fading images, fading moments, only memories remain The Words: what? The Outfit: HERE! The Notes muse, muse! Honest to God when she walked out of the training center today and decided to take a quick detour to the park she never expected something like this to happen. Life has a way of catching you off guard with important things, it likes to throw you a curb ball every now and then just to see how well you are going to react. Helena should know, she has had some very sharp curb balls in her life in the last couple of months and to be honest she can't really say that she has dealt with all of them in the smartest way possible. Even so there was a time and a place to think about it, a moment in which you have no real thing to do than to think of everything, to question every decision and see where things went wrong and therefor see the mistake and make sure it won't ever happen again. Learn from them if you will; this was not the time. This was the time to think on her feet and make someone feel better, to listen to what they had to say. This was the time to be a friend and not focus on her at all. This is in fact what she is good at; she is good at being with people, she is good at letting all of her drama and problems and whatever away and focusing all of her energy on what everyone else needs. Healthy? maybe not on the long run, but right now it is and it keeps her happy and that is what matters, right? Would he reject her? She couldn't be quite sure that he wanted a hug when she did it, maybe because she did it without giving the gesture a second thought. Her eyes were looking off into the distance but not actually focused on anything at all. She was looking there only because her eyes had to be set there, they need to be located somewhere, but she wasn't paying attention to her surroundings. It was easy to feel the movement of his body, but she wondered if that was just because he wasn't feeling like keeping her arms around him, or because it was involuntary. If he wanted her to let go he would say something right? Or he would actually push her away from him. It was just as she thought that he was going to do that that something else happened. She could start to feel her shirt getting wet, which only encouraged her to tighten her grip around him a bit, just enough to make him know it was alright. Being honest there was really no way for her to hurt him, she didn't have the strength nor the intention to do so. Why was he sorry? Obviously there was no way for her to know. "You don't have to be sorry" she whispered back. Finally she was looking, actually looking around, and there was no one nearby; just them and some happy dogs who had suddenly gotten silent. All Helena could do was be here, and she began to brush her hand across his hair, trying to calm down and just soothing him with those soft movements. It pretty much was what her grandfather used to do every time he found her crying at the beach after having a bad night. Just walk over to their spot at the beach, with a nice cup of hot chocolate, setting it carefully on the rocks before hugging her, then he would rock her back and forth a little, running his hand through her hair while he let her know everything was going to be alright. He would make her look over at the waves, watching them crash against the rocks before finally getting her to drink what he had gotten her, then they would just sit there for hours, not even having to speak, because the company was good enough for her to feel better. Just knowing someone will be there when she needs it. Someone who knows that if she wasn't answering her phone, or sitting at her room, dancing on the backyard, that one person knew she wasn't alright and needed comforting. She needs that here, she misses having that someone. Snapping out of it she could both feel and hear his sobs, so she slowly guided her hand to rub his back. That phrase, she actually was able to recognize it, her eyes closed while she let the words sink in. "Things are going to get better" she whispered, if things could somewhat get better for her, then why shouldn't they get better for him as well? If what it takes is someone to care, then that is what he is going to get. She'll care, she already cares for that matter, then she might as well care even more. If only a few days could get her to care this much, then more days could only lead to a whole awful more, right? it might seen weird, she can agree to that, but maybe it's because of the way she was raised. Everyone is important, everyone matters. That is what she learned, that is what she believes. Therefore that is why she cares. "They will, they will get better" she couldn't help but repeat them, yet this time around it was mostly to remind herself of that as well. created by ADE! Pb-ified by WILL

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